As some of you may have noticed, I haven’t written on my blog for over two months! I never foresaw this happening. However, as I embarked upon some big changes in my life, (namely, preparing for and then carrying out a cross-country move to Portland, Oregon) there was no inspiration towards blogging.
At first, I tried forcing a few blog articles, but that didn’t feel too good. I began to feel uncertainty and fear around NOT blogging. I had nurtured a deep dedication to my blog and had big career plans with it. And then, suddenly, NOTHING. Was my whole blog project just a temporary dream? Did I yet again start something and not finish? Was I back to square one again?
Yes. No. I don’t know.
All I know is, that over two months later, I have the inspiration again AND that I have been exploring a new way of approaching life.
You see, like many of us, I have an inner critic and authority figure in my head (the proverbial, internalized parent), that seemingly attempts to guide me in my best interest. However, it often clashes with that deeper, wordless part of me that simply doesn’t jive with its imposed order.
After years of trying to make my life work by the authority figure’s plans and having it never really work for me, I have decided to give it up, piece by piece, chunk by chunk. It’s so scary because what if, left to my own organic rhythms, I discover that I am an inherently lazy and an unproductive person?!
I can’t say that I know the answer yet. At the very least, I know what doesn’t work. I am willing to see what following my own organic flow looks like and take a leap of faith that it might have my best interests at heart- even if it doesn’t look like what I think it should.
Something’s got to change and I am ready to take the plunge. Are you?
Please share in the comments section below how you’ve handled change, gone with the flow, taken a break and dealt with uncertainty. I would love to hear from you.